A Big Ole FAQ Post

One of my favorite bloggers, Kait from CommuniKait, does a big ole FAQ post every year and I’ve decided to copy her (I asked first) and do one of my own. I often get a fair amount of questions from you guys about varying topics and many of you submitted some really great questions when I asked (read: begged) for topics you wanted to read about in this post. Without further ado, here are all the things you wanted to know (and some things you probably didn’t.)

Do you think you’ll live in California forever?

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We moved back to my hometown of Ventura, California almost three years ago and, aside from the cost of living, I love living here. Being able to live in my hometown and raise our family in the town where I was raised brings me so much joy and means so, so much to me. But, I also know that Kyle misses his hometown of Lake Tahoe and would like to live there again someday. We have discussed retiring in Tahoe but for the foreseeable future we will be in California.

What’s your background? How did you get started blogging?

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I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication from California State University, Channel Islands. I’ve been blogging off and on since 2006 when I was introduced to the blog Dooce, which I would read during down time at my boring office internship in college. I have always loved to write and I instantly fell in love with blogging. I started by filling out boring surveys and sharing my favorite quotes of the week. When I moved to Atlanta in 2010 I wrote to keep friends and family back home up to date on my adventures. Then, in 2012 when I was having a hard time, I started writing more openly about my struggles with anxiety and depression and people started reading it….I was amazed. I’ve met so many amazing friends through blogging and it has truly changed my life for the better.

How do you make your relationship successful? Do you have any advice for new couples on how to make a relationship last?

People tell me all the time how lucky I am to be married to Kyle and I always respond “I know”. Kyle is my biggest supporter and encourager. He cheers me on when I’m at my best and he’s there when I’m at my worst. He is also the life of any party, which is good for me because I’m much more introverted and a homebody. When we first started dating in 2014 we were long distance so talking on the phone and via FaceTime were how our relationship really started. Kyle also suggested we take the 5 Love Languages test and it became the foundation on which our relationship was built. I’m “Words of Affirmation” and Kyle is “Physical Touch”. He also scored high in “Acts of Service” and we both scored the same in “Quality Time”. I am really proud of how well Kyle and I communicate: if I were to give any advice on relationships (which I do not feel qualified to do, but am so honored to be asked) I would say that being able to have open, honest and vulnerable communication with your significant other is the most important thing. It’s also important not to take yourself, your significant other or your relationship too seriously: laugh, have fun and show up when shit gets hard.

What is your favorite thing about Kyle?

I mean, he’s a bearded ginger, what’s not to love?! Kyle is one of the best friends anyone could have. He calls, texts, keeps in touch with the people he loves and he is incredibly generous with his time. He’s always creating fun videos for them and their kids, he always shows up for them and he gives, gives and gives. If I had to pick one thing about him that I love, that would be it. He’s such a good man.

What is your favorite childhood memory?

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I have a lot of fond memories from my childhood, but I think my favorite memory is all the camping trips we took. We would rent a cabin in the mountains for a week every summer and it was amazing. We would play in the stream & the lake, rent a house boat and go fishing. We would make a fire every night and make s’mores. It was the best. I have already told Kyle it’s a tradition I would like to continue with our children someday.

What is your bucket list vacation?

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Actually a vacation in general would be amazing right about now. I’ve been very lucky to have travel a lot in my life but my bucket list vacation is Ireland, England and Scotland. I’ve never been to Europe! The best part of this vacation is that Kyle and I are in the beginnings of planning it! Our plan is to go later this year, depending on how our fertility treatments pan out. Kyle and I never went on a honeymoon so not only would this be a bucket list trip but it would also be our honeymoon!

What are your favorite restaurants in Ventura?

Okay, I’m going to break it down by category because honestly it’s so hard to choose!

Coffee Shop: Palm and Boy or Prospect Coffee Roasters

Brewery: Poseidon Brewing Company or MadeWest

Cocktails: Rumfish y Vino

Pizza: Santino’s (I’ve been going here since I was a kid)

Date night: Paradise Pantry, Cafe Fiore or The Cave

Casual dinner: Spencer Makenzie’s, O-sabi or Kibo Sushi

What is your spirit animal?

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I am pretty sure Boxers and Corgis are my spirit animals. Both are very quirky, mischievous, silly and loyal. Some of you asked what kind of dog Gatsby is: he’s a Lab/Great Pyrenees mix.

When you think of what you want to do/be/become what does that look like? (Also something that fits in here: what is your dream job?)

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Dream job: writer, author, motivational speaker, mother.

I want to be someone who leaves people better than I found them. I want to encourage, inspire, travel and write. I want to be able to be present with my family and also be a woman with a career. I hope to be seen as someone who can be counted on to be an ecourager, a good friend, a good person and someone who gives back to their community.

What does your perfect date night look like?

I’m an introvert and a homebody so my ideal date night is getting take-out from one of our favorite restaurants, getting in bed and watching a TV show or movie. Basically if I can wear leggings, my Reading Socks and a sweatshirt and call it a date night I’m here for it. Kyle is an extrovert and the life of the party so he usually likes to go out for drinks, dinner and a movie. We do a pretty good job of compromising on our date night activities but Kyle definitely likes to go out more than me.

What is your Enneagram type?

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I’m an Enneagram Type 2 (The Helper). I have a 3 wing, which makes me “The Hostess”. Nothing about this is shocking to me and if you read it, it won’t be shocking to you either.

Do you have any advice for someone struggling with infertility?

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First and foremost: I am sorry you are struggling with this. It’s hard, it’s personal and it’s deeply emotional.

I am not qualified to give any kind of fertility advice but I am happy to share what I’ve learned from my experiences thus far. I have written about my experiences here.

My best advice is to be your biggest advocate. Speak up, ask questions, be proactive about your treatment plan. Research your doctor and if you don’t like the way you’re being treated, don’t be afraid to switch. Try to stay off the internet unless you are looking at reputable sites (I recommend FertilityIQ). Remember to honor your feelings: feel everything and give yourself grace. This is hard, and it’s okay if you aren’t okay.


This was a really fun post to write! Maybe I’ll make it a yearly thing!

Wherein I get Voluntarily Stuck with Needles

Five Things About Me